Lost Without You
by SadSaturdayonaMoonlitMorning
Summary: Bella disappeared 23 years ago, and Edward has been searching for her the entire time, but now that he's found her she's changed. Character death ExB, Rated M for language, sexual content in later chapters [Testing][may wright more, for now, 2 shot]
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:// Goodbye

It was raining. For some reason, it wasn't the same. People were walking to their cars, dressed in black, laughing, smiling, and holding their backs to me. They all knew it was my fault. If it hadn't been for me, she would still be alive and smiling. Probably with friends, or Jacob. They all wanted me to die. I took they're little angel away and I deserved to be punished. The only problem was, that I knew it better myself than any of them.

If I hadn't left, she wouldn't have started riding motorcycles.

If I hadn't left, she wouldn't have been cliff diving.

If I hadn't left, she would have been more careful.

But the truth was, if she hadn't come, then I wouldn't be more dead inside than I had been for the past hundred some odd years.

If she hadn't come, we would be not eating lunch right now, envied by the school.

If she hadn't come, life would be normal and I would still be out casted by nearly everyone, including my own family.

If she hadn't come, I would have been alone.

I wouldn't have had to leave.

I wouldn't have fallen in love.

And she would still be alive, down in Jacksonville.

As I stood, waiting for everyone to leave before I left again, I saw a newspaper and picked it up. It was open to the obituaries. There was a picture of her. She was smiling and looked happy.

_Bella Swan 1989-2007 Beloved daughter and friend to all_.

I winced and looked away. Soon we would be together again and we wouldn't have to deal with any of these human trivialities.

I stepped back into the waiting room. The only person left in there was Charlie. He wouldn't even look at me. The casket was closed. There was the stench of death. I had already checked, they still haven't found her body. They would be burying an empty casket tomorrow. But I already knew she was dead. There was no way she could have survived the crash of her motorcycle off the side of a cliff into a lake current almost as strong as a hurricanes. She was dead. I had lost the love of my life and it was all my fault.

Chapter 1:// End


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:// Death By Suicide

I was walking by the Cliffside, hoping none of the pack would catch me. I just wanted to look for her. If I found the body, maybe if she was just a little bit alive, I could save her… She wouldn't be the same Bella, but she would be alive. That would be all that mattered.

There wasn't anything but water as far as the eye could see. Rocks, water, and moss. There was a soft muffled noise behind me. I sniffed the air. It was only Jacob. I didn't move or say anything, he came up and pushed me, grasping my shirt when he did so, so I fell forward, but wouldn't have fallen in.

"Hey." He said. We had gotten past our differences, since I was only going to be here a few more days, and then I was going to the Volturi to be killed. "Any luck?"

I shook my head. She was gone, and we both knew it. And yet, neither of us could handle it. It was quite obvious he was going to do the same thing I was, death by suicide. It was funny how we were so different. He was a werewolf, I was a vampire, he was a rough-housing redneck, and I was definitely not, he was in love with Bella, I was in love with Bella, he wanted to die, I wanted to die… Different, yet exactly the same.

"I should be getting back soon, to help Charlie move…" Jacob said sadly.

"He's moving? Where to?" I didn't have to ask. I already knew, he was going to travel the world on his retirement fund.

"He doesn't know yet. Could be anywhere… but, don't beat yourself up too much… I knew I should have put better breaks on there."

"I shouldn't have left."  
"No one's perfect."

"But I'm supposed to be."

He was already walking away. He was planning on something bad, and I didn't have to read his mind to tell that. Once I heard his motorcycle start, I began hopping rocks down to the bottom of the cliff. There was the faint aroma of her. I looked around, suddenly hopeful. That's when I saw it. A cave.

It took me only seconds, but I was over there to the opening. Her scent was stronger inside. I followed it. I found her helmet, thrown on the ground, not too far away from a jacket and shoes. I kept going deeper, but that's where it stopped, there was nothing but a wall of rock. I cursed as loudly as I could, and fell to my knees. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I hadn't been able in so long, I wasn't even sure how. I cursed again.

After a while, I left, knowing she wasn't there. But there was more hope in my mind though. Now I knew she was alive. All I had to do was hunt her down and never let her go again. And I would hunt until the end of the world because she was the world to me.

It took nearly 23 years of hunting to finally find her, and when I did, I was in for the shock of a life time.

Chapter 2:// End


End file.
